You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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