I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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