K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
