i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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