K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
