STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
