yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
