I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize