Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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