how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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