member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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