but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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