Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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