Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
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The beers last night were like the tears from god
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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