That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
This is classic penis vs brain.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dicks are not precious.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
