Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
