69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
