So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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