I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
