mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
