he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
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Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
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my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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