I wish my penis had an off switch
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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