I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
