My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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