drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think my vagina is haunted
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
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I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
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Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize