Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize