Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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