Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
