He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
