We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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