They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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