Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
