That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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