What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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