no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
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