I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
