also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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