Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
