Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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