Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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