TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
