He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
