I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
