Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize