So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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