theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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