sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
