I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
