At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
