Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize