So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
