Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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