she looked like the before picture.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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