Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize