Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
