this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
