I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
