Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
